Doing The Wave

As promised, some pictures of the unusual surf conditions we are experiencing this year.

Commuters In For A Rough Ride


The surfers were enjoying themselves.

Waiting For The Big One


You can see how high the waves are, and how far out from shore they are breaking. Most unusual.

Fly Little Birdie, Fly Away Home


The local fishermen were not deterred, however.

Here Fishie Fishie Fishie


And their hard work seemed to be paying off.

Proudly Displaying The Morning's Catch


I have never seen them catching fish like this in all the years I have been coming here. I believe these are mojarra tilapia, which would make for some very good eating.

My friend Chris is coming in from Minneapolis today and I expect he will be ready for some warm weather. I have been watching the storm system sweeping the eastern seaboard and it looks like New York City is getting hit this time around. Several airlines including Jet Blue and Continental have cancelled all of their flights and, of course, there are major delays with the flights that are still operating. They are running extra trains out of Manhattan starting at noon to allow people to get out of town with a minimum of fuss. I think this might last for several days.

I am glad I am here.

Too Much Information

I must be one of the only gringos to ever have to buy a laxative here in Mexico. But after a three day stoppage I had no choice. Now, five major morning dumps later or, more precisely, five major dumps this morning, I feel fine. The strong Mexican coffee also helped, I am sure.

Sorry, no pictures.

The weather here is still overcast in the mornings and late afternoons with a smattering of light showers. I just read where the storm we had here last Tuesday had winds of up to 85 miles an hour out by Punta Mita, the north end of the bay.

We still have high waves and earlier I got some pictures of surfers right here on Los Muertos. Kind of unusual, they are normally further out of town where the waves tend to be higher. The pelicans are still flocking here so the fish must still be blowing in as well. I haven't seen any whales or dolphins, though.

I will try to post some more pictures tomorrow when I have a better connection and can upload them. I can sometimes get a weak wireless connection out on my balcony, like now, but not good enough to upload pictures.

Here is a picture I already uploaded, just to add some color (other than brown) to this post.

The Local Fruit And Veggie Vendor


My brother-in-law Jim thought that the Mysterious Chinese Woman and I maybe thwarted an alien invasion when we killed the little white worms yesterday (too much Godzilla vs Mothra when he was young). A Mexican friend of mine said they were just baby maggots. I would have been happier if they were, indeed, aliens.

Chili And Pasta Contest

Before getting into the chili/pasta thing, let me congratulate all of you Saints fans out there. An unusually exciting Super Bowl for a change, and I was glad to see the Saints win. Not too surprisingly, they are partying like crazy in New Orleans and schools and most businesses are closed for the occasion. And the parade isn't even until tomorrow.

Saturday a bunch of us took a bus up the river to a chili and pasta contest.

On The Bus


It is about a twenty minute bus ride that is worth more than the price of admission, 6.5 pesos or about 50 cents. You get to wind your way through some little neighborhoods you otherwise might not see and marvel at how the bus can navigate its way through the narrow streets.

La Huerta Grill And Bar


La Huerta means something like truck farm in Spanish, and I guess is a reference to the fresh produce they use in their cooking here. Victoriano Huerta was also a general in the Mexican Revolution during which, it seems, most of the revolutionaries spent most of their time fighting each other. Mexican history is really quite fascinating, and I should spend more time studying it.

I wasn't quite sure what to make of the ambulance parked at the entrance to the courtyard where the contest was being held. Was this some kind of an omen?

Beware The Chili


No need to worry, though. The contest was to raise money for the Mexican Red Cross so it was there primarily as an advertisement.

They had a nice little bar and my old friend Sweeny of Sweeny's Bar was already parked when I arrived.

Sweeny At The Bar


He was a participant in the chili contest. The contest was a bit, shall we say, disorganized. First, both of the local English weekly papers had the time of the event listed as 2:00 PM. However, when we arrived shortly before then the place was already packed and a lot of the chili and pasta dishes were already gone.

The Opening Crowd


Then, next to each chili and pasta dish were little plastic dishes with a number on the bottom that was supposed to correspond to either the chili or pasta to the left or to the right of them. I never did quite figure it out.

The Serving Area


And, because the instructions weren't too clear, a lot of people just picked up a bunch of the little plastic dishes from the first serving station and used them for everything. Then, of course, those dishes ran out and this was repeated at the next station.

Oh well, it was all in good fun and it wasn't like there were big trophies or cash prizes. I just asked Sweeny what number his chili was and wrote it down. Hey, stuffing the ballot boxes is kind of a tradition.

The restaurant also had pasta dishes available, but they weren't entered.

Restaurant Quality


We all had a great time, as usual. Hey, all you could eat for 100 pesos, 20 peso beers, and round-trip bus fare for another buck. A great and inexpensive way to spend the afternoon.

Okay, here is another one of the spot the differences puzzles. Between the two pictures our entire crew can be seen. Just not all at the same time.

Picture One


Picture Two


And then it was time for our bus ride back home.

Our Ride Awaits


I love to ride the buses here. Just hop on one and see where they go. At the worst you can be stuck in the middle of nowhere and have to wait for a half an hour or so until the bus decides to turn around and head back. Usually you can find a little bodega or someplace to get a beer and sit and wait, though.

A Typical "Bus Stop"


Woke up this morning to find a whole bunch of these little white worms or larva on my kitchen and balcony floor.

Lair Of The White Worm


They are much too small to be fly maggots, and I haven't seen too many flies around here. They are fairly small moving but were spread out pretty much throughout the kitchen floor with a few on the balcony. No real single concentration though and we couldn't find anyplace that they seemed to be coming from.

Luckily they couldn't seem to navigate the steps up to our bedrooms and bathrooms. That would have freaked out the Mysterious Chinese Woman. I claimed a bad back and said I couldn't bend down to squish them in a napkin but gleefully pointed them out to her from a safe distance.

Birthdays And Un-Birthdays

I apologize for the somewhat untimeliness if this post, but my internet connection sucks. I did find a spot down in the entryway to the pool area where I can pick up a good signal and stay out of the bright sun so I should be able to post a bit more frequently.

Last Sunday, the day after we arrived here in beautiful, usually warm and sunny Puerto Vallarta, I was going to take the Mysterious Chinese Woman to La Palapa for what I thought was her official birthday. La Palapa is probably the best beachside restaurant in this town. Also the priciest, but that stands to reason. We were at the poolside deck, or whatever, discussing our plans with friends of ours and before you know it we had a whole group joining us for the festivities.

Just Look For The Boat


There were nine of us altogether so we had to wait a bit for the restaurant to clear enough tables and push them together for us. It was chilly and drizzling so that precluded eating outside, which is often a pleasant alternative.

Pre-Dinner Cocktails




The first picture was with Bill, Marcie doing the snapping, and the second is with Marcie, Bill doing the snapping. Kind of like one of those can you find the 10 differences between the two pictures puzzles.

We had just about enough time for a cocktail and then we were all seated at a table with a view of the beach and bay beyond.

The Whole Crowd


And, of course, the Mysterious Chinese Woman got her un-birthday cake.

Isn't This Special


She is so cute when she is happy.

They did do a nice job on the cake. I think it was Marcie who arranged it, still under the impression that it really was a birthday party.

Nice Cake


The next day was also overcast and rainy. Man what a stretch of weather. I awoke to see what looked like a ghost-liner pulling into port.

Arriving In Sunny Puerto Vallarta


After moping about the house most of the day we did go out to celebrate the Mysterious Chinese Woman's real official birthday. This time there were only six of us and we went to new place. And I do mean new. It wasn't here last year.

Amapa Sunset


You can get to this place from either the street level one flight of stairs up from the beach or from the beach itself. The street level entrance used to have this statue of a shark and no stairs down to the beach.

The Shark


The Beach Entrance


The exterior shots of both La Palapa and Amapa Sunset were not taken the nights we went. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had to wait a couple of days before the weather cleared up to take some pictures in the sun.

The Happy Birthday Crew


I was very pleased with my dinner choice, grilled octopus. Maybe not the best I have ever had, but pretty damned good.

Crunchy Outside, Soft And Chewy Center


Even my friend Bill found something on the menu he liked.

We Could Have Gone To McDonald's


Everyone had a good time, as usual, and we all, except maybe Bill, thought we would come here again. But then Bill ran into trouble trying to bring four pounds of butter down here in his carry-on luggage because he doesn't like Mexican butter.

Note to self, butter is no longer permitted in carry-on luggage.

This afternoon a bunch of us are heading out of town a bit and going to a chili and pasta contest of some sort. I will be sure to post about that tomorrow, now that I have found a spot where I can get a fairly reliable internet connection.

Interestingly, or not, one of my Mexican friends here never heard of chili until she went to Wisconsin with with her husband who has a house/cabin there. She likes chili though, now that she has had a chance to try it.

Had to turn off CNN this morning because I simply could not take seeing Obama give another speech. Someone really should tell him that over-exposure in the media isn't helping his cause at all. At least in my opinion. And this seems to be an opinion shared by many of the people I talk to as well.

Okay, that wasn't meant to be a political comment. Just a comment about wearing out your welcome, I guess. Or something like that.

And rather than wear out mine I shall bid you a fond adios and will post about today's field trip tomorrow.

Still Gloomy

But, as a few people have commented, I should not complain. It is worse back home in Brooklyn. At least it isn't raining, yet. Just really overcast. Last night we lost power for a bit and this morning we don't have any cable or satellite or whatever television service we usually have. Forced to spend the morning watching Spanish lanquage cartoons.

Here are a couple of pictures from Wednesday to give you an idea of what it was like. They don't really do the rain justice, though.

The View From My Balcony


A Little Waterfall Across The Street


A Brief Interlude


The Joys Of Eating At Home




Hey, it wasn't all that bad, but I sure hope it doesn't rain all day again today. I want to get out and take a couple of exterior shots of where we celebrated the Mysterious Chinese Woman's non-birthday and birthday so I can post those pictures.

Here Is A Teaser


You know you are getting old when you remember when a 100 point move in the Dow was an unusual occurence.

Grrr, it just started raining again. It looks like it might clear up though, but I can't really see what might be lying behind the mountains and moving this way.

Trivia time, Do you know the first solo Beatle to have seven consecutive Top Ten singles? Drum roll please. It was Ringo Starr. I know this because he is playing Radio City in New York in July and there was a nice article about him in the New York Daily News.

A Very Brief Update

The weather cleared up today and this evening I saw my first sunset since I got here. My internet connection ranges from horrible to none. No modem available for a DSL connection this year and because I am in the back of the building the wireless is almost useless. As a result I haven't been able to upload any pictures. Tomorrow I will hit an internet cafe so I can upload the pictures that I have and post something of a bit more interest.

Nobody has ever seen anything like the weather we have had the last two days, not this time of year. Constant rain, thunder and lightning, and very high winds. We lost about a dozen umbrellas from the pool deck area and the beach.

Today it was a bit overcast and we did get a shower, also unusual for this time of year, but not unheard of. It cleared up in the afternoon but is quite cool again this evening. Supposedly things will return to normal by tomorrow.

I feel sorry for the people who are just here for a week.

Gloomy, Gloomy, Gloomy

I will post pictures tomorrow. Too rainy and gloomy to do anything but drink today. I have been coming to Puerto Vallarta for over twenty years and have never seen weather like this before. Just a steady overcast, rainy day and chilly. Rained all night, although we did make it to dinner and back last night before it started. The rain never let up all day. Supposed to be like this tomorrow too. Had a slight break and I made it to the nearby bodega or whatever they call it in Mexico and got some wine, great tacos and a cheese and chorizo fondue thing to bring back home.

I am now on my second Prey novel by Sandford and listening to Jimmy Buffet to keep my spirits up.

Am I the only one who thinks President Obama should be spending more time in Washington trying to fix our problems than in places like New Hampshire at town hall meetings trying to explain what he is trying to do? I don't mean to be political, but his advisors should tell him to spend less time in front of the cameras trying to impress us with his eloquence and more time behind his desk trying to get things done.

Eloquence: the practice or art of using language with fluency and aptness.

I love this whole "Don't ask, don't tell" policy debate. When I was in the Army the top of the chain of command was the President of The United States. I also learned that you didn't disobey a direct order from a superior unless you wanted to face a court martial. Maybe I am missing something here, but can't President Obama just issue an order that you can't discriminate against homosexuals in the military, if that is what he really wants? If it isn't what he wants, stop beating around the bush and say so.

Politics: The art of avoiding responsibility while trying to convince people you are in charge and simultaneously trying to stay in office.

I am begining to see the advantages of a benign dictatorship.

Actually, I thought you had to be gay to join the Navy. Probably because I watched South Pacific when I was young. Except for the Seabees, John Wayne was in the Seabees, at least in that one movie. But come to think of it, John Wayne's real name was Marion Morrison. And Wayne's conquests allegedly included Randolph Scott, Joel McCrea and Montgomery Clift, with whom he allegedly had a torrid affair during the making of Red River in 1948.

I am just cranky because it is cold and rainy when it is supposed to be sunny and warm.

Still, a million things that need fixing and President Obama thinks his time is best spent in New Hampshire at a town hall meeting. Got to wonder.

I promise, I will be more upbeat tomorrow, regardless of the weather.

A Confusing Day

Ah, morning in Puerto Vallarta. And here is a picture of my little paradise by the sea. It was Playa de Sol when I bought, then became Blue Seas when the owner tried to reposition it as a gay and lesbian (aren't lesbians gay) resort, and is soon to become something like One Beach Street Vallarta now that we have a new owner. Life here is a bit like a soap opera.

Currently Blue Seas


Across the street they must have had a party or something, but it looks like I missed it.

The Sad Remnants


We went to bed so early on the day we arrived that we were up well before dawn. Once dawn broke we decided to head out for a bit of breakfast and saw the early morning deliveries being made.

Truck, I Don't Need No Truck


Both yesterday and today I noticed an unusually large number of pelicans close to shore and even walking along the beach. I figured there must be a lot of fish in close because they were feeding like mad. Then this morning on the way to breakfast we passed all of these guys with their fishing lines.

Competing With The Pelicans


We hit Langostino's for breakfast so we could eat and look out at Banderas Bay.

Not Bad For About Five Bucks


Although my time down here starts on January 30th when I use my friend Bruce's time as well as my own, last year we came down on January 31st to take a non-stop flight out of Newark. Continental, for some reason, only runs the non-stops on Saturdays and, maybe Sundays. The Mysterious Chinese Woman celebrates her "official" birthday on February 1st so last year the day after we arrived we went out to dinner to celebrate.

This year, not really thinking about it, I just assumed that the day after we arrived it would be her birthday. I gave her a good morning kiss and wished her a happy birthday and she did nothing to dispell my opinion. Later we met friends by the pool for cocktails and I told them it was the Mysterious Chinese Woman's birthday and I was going to take her to La Palapa for dinner. Before it was all over there were nine of us celebrating her birthday and she even got a nice little birthday dessert at the restaurant.

Of course it really wasn't her birthday at all. Today is her "official" birthday. The Mysterious Chinese Woman claims she didn't realize the mistake either, but I have my suspicions.

For some reason I didn't bring my camera but my friend Marcie did. I will try to borrow her camera today and upload the pictures of the non-birthday party (I kind of feel like the Mad Hatter) to post later.

By the way, the Mysterious Chinese Woman has her "official" birthday and then her real birthday which is based on the Chinese lunar calendar, and only my Mysterious Chinese Mother-In-Law can it figure out. I try to keep the number of birthday celebrations down to just two a year, but obviously failed this time around. The Mysterious Chinese Woman claims that last night was just a Birthday Eve celebration.

This is usually the dry season down here but we had a sprinkle in the afternoon yesterday, more sprinkles in the evening, and a real storm after we were all safely home from dinner. This morning it was still raining when I woke up but has stopped now. Looking toward the mountains it was still really overcast and gray.

A Gray Beginning


Looking out over the bay, though, you could see it was starting to clear and the storm appeared to be moving east fairly rapidly.

Things Are Looking Brighter


I think I will go down and hit the gym now. I vowed not to just let myself go during the eight weeks that I am here and try to at least attempt to counter some of the effects of the tequila and beer that I consume. I will say, however, that you do walk a lot while you are here and once you get off the beach a few blocks it is a lot of up and down, so that helps. Then I will scout out a suitable location to take the Mysterious Chinese Woman for her real "official" birthday. I doubt if everyone who went last night will be tagging along, though.

Puerto Vallarta - I Have Returned

Yesterday I was reminded of the scene in Cat Ballou where Kid Shelleen passes out after drinking and shooting a pint bottle of whisky and Jackson Two-Bears says something like "Shortest day I have ever seen." I always like to give you a bit of trivia, my favorite in this movie was seeing Dobbie Gillis again.

Anyway, the day wasn't really all that short, just the part of it I spent here in Puerto Vallarta. Got up at 2:00 AM, got picked up by my car service at 4:45 AM, was sitting at the gate waiting for my 8:30 AM flight by 6:15 and after a six hour flight I was in sunny Puerto Vallarta. An hour later, after clearing immigration and customs, running the time-share guantlet and a taxi ride, I was back on lovely Los Muertos beach.

The Mysterious Chinese Woman and I quickly changed into more appropriate clothes, shorts and tee-shirts, and hit Cuate y' Cuate on the beach for a couple of beers. Then we stopped at a new place back a few blocks, O'Rourke's, for another beer. Picked up some supplies (rum, Coke, and beer for me) and headed back to our place for a quick nap before dinner.

Hah, our quick nap lasted until 3:00 AM this morning, a bit too late for dinner even here in the Romantic District. Dozed until about 6:00 AM, checked to see if I could get a wireless connection (I can, but only outside on my little balcony) and felt compelled to keep you informed of what was going on.

Last year I had a regular internet connection inside my apartment, but somehow this year there were no available modems. Also, I have been hearing that the wireless connection is a bit unreliable. It seems to be working fine this morning, though, so no big deal. I do most of my work in the early mornings and evenings anyway. During the day it is a bit too bright to work out here.

This morning I will go for a walk along the malecon to check out the lay of the land and see what has changed. I have already noticed one new place, the aforementioned O'Rourkes, and seen a few shuttered store fronts. I had planned on going to Sweeny's for my first beer here, but it doesn't open until 4:00 PM this year. Still stays open until everyone stops drinking and you can get food until 4:00 AM. I ran into Sweeny on my way to Cuate y' Cuate and asked him about the late closing. He said tourism is really down this year, about a third less than normal, and it just didn't pay for him to open earlier in the day.

Well, Puerto Vallarta still looks crowded to me. I don't like it when everything is packed, but I sure don't like to see the places I like hurting for business or, even worse, closing down.

Okay, off to explore the town a bit. Kind of an overcast day with hints of blue sky peeking through and already nice and warm. The surf is pounding in the background and life is good.

Mortified At Morton's

Last night I took my brother-in-law Jim and the Mysterious Chinese Woman to Morton's here in my neigborhood in Brooklyn. It was kind of a going away celebration (leaving for Mexico on Saturday) and a treat for Jim who looks after our place while we are away. It was my first visit to this Morton's and we had a great time.

From the lady at the door who asked for a last name and at least feigned laughter when I expressed sympathy that she must be an orphan if she didn't already have a last name, to the waitress, Jen, to the assistant general manager or whomever he was.

I immediately bonded with Jen whose wine recommedation was Blackstone Merlot, an old favorite of me. Her delivery when she announced the specials and presented the various cuts of meat and fish you could chose from was as good as a Groucho Marx routine.

The meal was fine, but not out-of-this-world great. It was up to standard steak house standards, which is really pretty high. I think the non-chain's like a Sparks or Peter Lugar's may have a bit of an edge. But that is just my opinion.

My Cajun ribeye was a wee bit overdone (my fault, really, I should have ordered medium rare) and a bit too salty. But then I notice most steak houses serve their meat on the salty side.

When I mentioned that my steak was a bit overdone I was immediately offered another one and was told I could have it in about five minutes. I said "no" because it really wasn't that over done and I had already eaten about half of it. I wouldn't have even mentioned it except that when Jen asked how everything was I just said mine was fine but..., well, you know the rest.

Jim's steak, I believe the double-cut Chicago ribeye, was done just the way he liked it and the Mysterious Chinese Woman enjoyed her filet. All in all everyone quite enjoyed their meal.

After our meal Jen asked if we wanted to take anything home. Both the Mysterious Chinese Woman and I had steak left over, so we wanted that. Jen asked about the salad and I went off and said no, we didn't have a rabbit, the rabbit died, and I didn't even know my wife was pregnant. This only vaguely makes sense if you are old enough to remember that a pretty common test for pregnancy was to inject a rabbit with the urine of a woman who might be pregnant. If the woman was pregnant there would be a corpora hemorrhagica in the rabbit's ovaries. You had to kill the rabbit to detect this but if they were bulging it meant the woman was pregnant. Needless to say all the rabbits died but somehow the phrase, "The rabbit died," came to be a euphemism for a positive pregnancy test after the late 1920 and early 1930s.

Anyway, Jen knew what I was talking about and said my train of logic was like something out of "Leaving Las Vegas." Strangely enough, I knew she meant "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas." So then we all started talking about Hunter S. Thompson. It was spooky.

After the meal I had ordered a Sambuca but the assistant general manager (I wish I knew his name) offered each of us a choice of brandy, Frangelica, port or Sambuca, on the house. We all chose port.

Jim and I each had a piece of Key Lime Pie for desert and it was one of the best I have ever had. It had a Grahm Cracker-crumb crust which I have always liked with cream type pies. That was the way my mother made pies like this. The pies were on the house too. I don't know if the after-dinner drink service and free pie was because I "complained" about my steak or not. If it was, it was way more than necessary. In fact, nothing was necessary. My steak was perfectly fine, tender, tasty, just a wee-bit overdone to my taste.

There was a crowded bar scene when we arrived around 8:00 PM, mostly a suit and tie crowd, and it was still going pretty strong when we left a couple of hours later. Kind of my bar crowd back in the days when Bar Man actually worked. Not really my scene these days, though. I think I have worn a suit twice since I retired ten years ago.

Anyway, we had a really great time and I will definitely go back again when some occasion warrants it, like I am in the mood for a good steak or a piece of key lime pie (the pieces were really big, too).

Oh, the mortified part. It seems that because Morton's has numerous enough restaurants to be considered by New York to be a chain, it has to abide by the, in my opinion, stupid law that you have to post the calorie count beside each item on the menu. It really looks kind of silly to look at a fancy menu and see this. I was told that they have to be posted on the wine list as well. I should have looked, but didn't need to when I ordered Jen's recommendation, the Blackstone Merlot.

Anyway, the mortification: my steak was 1,100 calories. Mercifully, the desserts were displayed on a tray and there was no menu, for which I am grateful. And I didn't peek at the wine list.



Okay, early tomorrow (5:00 AM pickup) we are off for sunny Puerto Vallarta. I will, of course, be posting from down there and I promise I will be more prolific with the pictures. I should have brought my camera last night.

Rewriting History

It is amazing how many blogs I have seen saying that Brett Favre's last pass with every team he has played on has been an interception. Excuse me, I am no fan of Brett Favre, but his last pass with the Jets was not an interception.

(:17) (Shotgun) 4-B.Favre pass short left to 29-L.Washington to NYJ 5 for 4 yards. Lateral to 4-B.Favre to NYJ 7 for 2 yards. 4-B.Favre pass incomplete short right to 89-J.Cotchery. PENALTY on NYJ-4-B.Favre, Illegal Forward Pass, 3 yards, enforced at NYJ 7.

Brett's second to his last pass with the Jets was an interception.

So Sad

Ah, a very gloomy Monday here in Jets land. Gray, windy, rainy..., reflective of my mood.

I cannot bring myself to watch ESPN SportsCenter yet, maybe later. I have read the NY Daily News, though. Interestingly, nobody seems to want to write about all of the penalties the Jets racked up. Six of them for 46 yards, three of them giving the Colts first downs. You don't beat a team like the Colts that way.

And one of the penalties that gave the Colts a first down was for having 12 men on the field. What the hell?

The Colts, one penalty for five yards.

Still, the Jets gave us a longer run than usual this year and, maybe, will be even stronger next year. But repeating a trip to the AFC Championship Game is no easy task, even for the great teams.

Interestingly, the Vikings were also penalized for having 12 men on the field in their loss to the Saints. That penalty damaging as well, moving the Vikings back five yards and just beyond field goal range.

And, in typical Brett Favre fashion, the game went into overtime after Brett threw an interception deep in Saints territory late in the fourth quarter. It looked like Brett had room to run within field goal range, too. In his defense, he did injure his leg earlier in the game and that may have slowed him up. Nobody can really accuse Brett of not being willing to take a hit. But Brett's last few seasons have pretty much ended with him throwing interceptions.

I guess now we can all start the annual "Will Brett Retire" routine again.

On the positive side (Bar Man always tries to look on the positive side), I won't have to worry about finding a place to watch the Super Bowl while I am in Mexico. Maybe I can find someplace quiet that will have curling on television. Maybe the trials for the 2010 Winter Olympics. Hell, I would even settle for re-runs.

Do you think they will party in New Orleans if the Saints win the Super Bowl?

Oh, and as a capper, although it actually happened before the Jets loss, the Knicks managed to get blown out in their game against the Mavericks, losing by 50. That's right, the big five oh. Now that is embarassing.

Are You Man Or Woman Enough?

I know I'm not, but you have to check this out, courtesy of my friend Kenneth at Thirsty Swagman:

From the kickass nightlife of Singapore, to the Thai New Year in Phuket - get ready to annihilate the finest pubs of South East Asia!

Your mission starts in Singapore, where some of the most unique and diverse Asian nightlife promises the perfect preparation for the world's toughest pub crawl experience - Phuket, Thailand.

And you'll be celebrating in style for the Thai New Year (Songkran) on the 13th April!

The hardest-rocking pub on planet earth, Rock City on Phuket's Patong Beach, will feature centre stage on this incredible tour, with VIP entry and exclusive cover bands pumping out AC/DC, Metallica and more, all night long.This tour has no places for wimps!

Details at: http://www.worldsbiggestpubcrawl.com/D24-asia-annihilator-april-2010.html

Now that sounds like a fun trip in a decidedly bizarre and, perhaps, perverted way as well. One of these years, one of these years.

J E T S - JETS! JETS! JETS!

Hey, I just can't help myself. For all of those who are not Jets fans I do apologize. Well, not really.

My hopes for a Jets/Vikings Superbowl are still alive.

Know what else would be gratifying? The Colts, who could maybe have eliminated the Jets from the play-offs if they hadn't pulled their starters and given up on a perfect season, get beaten by them next week. Now that would be poetic justice.

And remember, when the Colts did pull their starters they weren't exactly blowing out the Jets, leading by only 5 points.

And don't forget, it was the heavily favored Colts who were beaten by the Joe Namath led Jets in Superbowl III oh so many years ago. Of course back then the Colts were in Baltimore and The Raven was just a poem by Edgar Allen Poe.

For extra credit, upon whose bust did the raven sit?

Okay, I know. Having been a Jets since they played in Shea Stadium, it is always dangerous to get your hopes up too high. But damn, my hopes are up.

Left-Handed Jockey Shorts

I recently thought I had come up with a dynamite idea for a product, and maybe it still is. Jockey Shorts designed for the left-handed.

For those of you who are right-handed, you probably never notice how penalized (heh, penalized, penis, Jockey Shorts) left-handers are when it comes to using standard products.

Take you average pencil, for example. Sure, you can use it with either hand, but if you hold it in your left hand the writing on the pencil is upside down. So what, you might ask. Well, how many times have you been asked to use a No. 2 pencil when filling out a form or taking a test? A right-handed person can simply glance at their pencil to make sure they are using the right one. A left-handed person has to turn the pencil over, losing precious seconds. Cummulatively this has probably amounted to thousands of hours over the years. Enough lost time to complete a post-graduate degree.

So far I have only found a patent application for shorts that can be utilized equally by left-handers and right-handers.

"An underwear construction having a trunk panel, an inner panel with an open edge for providing access through the inner panel, an outer panel having openings along opposed side edges, the outer panel overlying the inner panel, wherein the trunk panel, inner panel, and outer panel are joined to provide a wearer of said underwear selective unencumbered access to the penis through either of the openings in said outer panel and through the open edge of said inner panel."

So there may still be an opportunity for jockey shorts, briefs, and even pants designed just for left-handers.

Also, if someone who is right handed is facing you, the left-handed construction will provide easier right-handed access for said person. The market for this product may be huge.

Bourbon County Stout, Toothpaste, And Glögg

If you get a chance to try a Goose Island Bourbon County Stout, by all means do so.

Here is their description, and it is fairly accurate: "A liquid as dark and dense as a black hole with thick foam the color of a bourbon barrel. The nose is an intense mix of charred oak, chocolate, vanilla, caramel and smoke. One sip has more flavor than your average case of beer." I concur.

It weighs in at a hefty 13% so one is all you need, and not a full pint, either. At the Waterfront Ale House they serve it in a hefty sized brandy snifter. And, although one is all you need, I did make a session of them a couple of nights in a row. I won't be doing so again, however.

I will post a few pictures of my last session later, if I can find my camera. At least I found my way home, but then I had the Mysterious Chinese Woman helping me along.



Something else to think about, Have you ever noticed the warning on toothpaste packages saying that if a child swallows more than is used for brushing you should seek immediate medical attention or contact a Poison Control Center?

I am heading to a friend's house for a party this afternoon so I am off to make my world-famous, at least in my neighborhood, glögg. It was originally called "glödgad vin" which meant "glowing-hot wine" The word "glögg" is a shortened form of this.

And my glögg is perfectly safe for children of all ages. As an aside, although this whole blog is an aside, an early form of this drink was consumed by Greeks and Romans and was considered healthy. Its popularity spread throughout the European nations and in the 1890s it became a Christmas tradition. It was often used as a health potion, and I recommend it for a wide variety of ailments, especially muscle strains induced by shoveling snow.

You can make a big batch of it and, theoretically, keep whatever is left over for a month or two in your refrigerator and then reheat it in your microwave. I say theoretically because I have never had any left over. Maybe I need a bigger pot to make it in. Or exhibit a bit of restraint. Nah, a bigger pot is the answer.

Dare One Dream

Now that the Jets, and I must admit I never saw this coming, are indeed a force to be reckoned with, I have one dream:

JETS kick the VIKINGS butts and thoroughly humiliate Brett Favre

Sorry my Minnesota friends, I just can't help myself. Brett used the Jets to get to Minnesota. Does anyone, after the season Brett is having now, really believe he injured his arm so badly he was forced to retire, before un-retiring (again) and going where he wanted to go when he left Green Bay?

It would somehow be poetic justice if the world's oldest living quarterback (okay, I will give you that he is having a tremendous year) loses to the rookie who replaced him.

And before you count out the Jets, remember, if you can catch a chicken you can catch greased-lightning. No, wait, that was Rocky. If you have the number one defense in the NFL you are a force to be reckoned with. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, and Sanchez only went 12-of-15 for 182 yards, no interceptions, and a passing rating of 139.4 against the Bengals on Sunday. Brett who?

Interesting to contemplate, out of the Jets last three quarterbacks the only one who didn't get us into the playoffs was Brett.

Something To Consider

I just read that the Tiger Woods golf course in Dubai, when it is completed, will require four million gallons of desalinated water each week. The desalination process generates as much in emissions per gallon as burning a gallon of gas in an automobile.

On the other hand, if you can afford to build islands to represent the world I guess you can pretty much do just about anything.

The World In Dubai


Those aren't just little islands either. You are talking about islands where you can put up resorts and have plenty of room left over for luxurious vacation homes.

And let's not forget Dubai's ski-resort inside a shopping mall.

Puts Mall Of America To Shame


Dubai also just completed the world's tallest building.

Burj Dubai

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you don't have to worry about bureaucracy or democracy or any of that stuff that just gets in the way and slows you down. It is good to be the king, or the sheik, or whatever.

I guess we can take a bit of pride in the fact that our consumption of oil helped build all of this stuff.

Random Thoughts

If I did an email filter on "enlarge," "penis," and "manhood" I probably wouldn't get any email at all.

Have you noticed that more and more television commercials have a telephone ringing somewhere in the background? I think this is to get your attention because somehow you always subconsciously respond to a ringing telephone.

I hate getting official looking mail that says "Important Tax Information, Open At Once" only to find out it is an advertisement for a tax preparation service.

Would you buy a ShamWow from this man?



I did get a Slap Chop for Christmas, though.