Friday, January 22, 2010

Are You Man Or Woman Enough?

I know I'm not, but you have to check this out, courtesy of my friend Kenneth at Thirsty Swagman:

From the kickass nightlife of Singapore, to the Thai New Year in Phuket - get ready to annihilate the finest pubs of South East Asia!

Your mission starts in Singapore, where some of the most unique and diverse Asian nightlife promises the perfect preparation for the world's toughest pub crawl experience - Phuket, Thailand.

And you'll be celebrating in style for the Thai New Year (Songkran) on the 13th April!

The hardest-rocking pub on planet earth, Rock City on Phuket's Patong Beach, will feature centre stage on this incredible tour, with VIP entry and exclusive cover bands pumping out AC/DC, Metallica and more, all night long.This tour has no places for wimps!

Details at: http://www.worldsbiggestpubcrawl.com/D24-asia-annihilator-april-2010.html

Now that sounds like a fun trip in a decidedly bizarre and, perhaps, perverted way as well. One of these years, one of these years.

Monday, January 18, 2010

J E T S - JETS! JETS! JETS!

Hey, I just can't help myself. For all of those who are not Jets fans I do apologize. Well, not really.

My hopes for a Jets/Vikings Superbowl are still alive.

Know what else would be gratifying? The Colts, who could maybe have eliminated the Jets from the play-offs if they hadn't pulled their starters and given up on a perfect season, get beaten by them next week. Now that would be poetic justice.

And remember, when the Colts did pull their starters they weren't exactly blowing out the Jets, leading by only 5 points.

And don't forget, it was the heavily favored Colts who were beaten by the Joe Namath led Jets in Superbowl III oh so many years ago. Of course back then the Colts were in Baltimore and The Raven was just a poem by Edgar Allen Poe.

For extra credit, upon whose bust did the raven sit?

Okay, I know. Having been a Jets since they played in Shea Stadium, it is always dangerous to get your hopes up too high. But damn, my hopes are up.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Left-Handed Jockey Shorts

I recently thought I had come up with a dynamite idea for a product, and maybe it still is. Jockey Shorts designed for the left-handed.

For those of you who are right-handed, you probably never notice how penalized (heh, penalized, penis, Jockey Shorts) left-handers are when it comes to using standard products.

Take you average pencil, for example. Sure, you can use it with either hand, but if you hold it in your left hand the writing on the pencil is upside down. So what, you might ask. Well, how many times have you been asked to use a No. 2 pencil when filling out a form or taking a test? A right-handed person can simply glance at their pencil to make sure they are using the right one. A left-handed person has to turn the pencil over, losing precious seconds. Cummulatively this has probably amounted to thousands of hours over the years. Enough lost time to complete a post-graduate degree.

So far I have only found a patent application for shorts that can be utilized equally by left-handers and right-handers.

"An underwear construction having a trunk panel, an inner panel with an open edge for providing access through the inner panel, an outer panel having openings along opposed side edges, the outer panel overlying the inner panel, wherein the trunk panel, inner panel, and outer panel are joined to provide a wearer of said underwear selective unencumbered access to the penis through either of the openings in said outer panel and through the open edge of said inner panel."

So there may still be an opportunity for jockey shorts, briefs, and even pants designed just for left-handers.

Also, if someone who is right handed is facing you, the left-handed construction will provide easier right-handed access for said person. The market for this product may be huge.