Missed The Midgets... Again

My last Saturday in Minnesota was spent with my friends Rico and Sandy. Rico cooked up some dynamite ribs for our dinner (Sandy made the sauce) so Rico and I got to spend the afternoon doing doing manly things like drinking beer and watching college football on the television in his garage. Oh yeah, and making sure the ribs were smoking along.

In the morning, though, we all headed out to one of our favorite little breakfast in a glass places, Floyd's.

A Touch Of Jamaica


I guess if you live in a place like Minnesota, home of the ironically named Sun Country airline, a taste of the island life might appeal to you.

I Almost Hear The Steel Drums


Continuing The Theme


I carried on the island theme by wearing my Coney Island Lager shirt and my Cha Cha's cap. Somehow, though, I didn't blend right in.

The Crew


After finishing our breakfast we headed down the road a bit to stop into -

Lisa's Place


And here I saw that, once again, we were at the right place but on the wrong day for midget wrestling.

Damn!!!


Truly Screwed


And we couldn't go tomorrow because Rico and Sandy had invited a couple of old friends, Jerry and Pat, to come over and watch the Vikings. So now I am not only going to be forced to miss out on the midget wrestlers, I am going to have to watch Brett Favre quarterback the Vikings.

Oh well, when life hands you lemons, just drink lemonade.

Straight Up, Warm, With A Human Hair


It is now a week later and, to Favre's credit, he did well in both games with the Vikings. And my Jets are looking good to. Yesterday I invited my brother-in-law Jim over to watch the Jets game while I attempted to make a meal using Julia Child's cookbook, "Mastering The Art Of French Cooking." More on that later, but don't get too excited. I didn't lard my meat.

The Next Big Thing

Okay, so we had the financial meltdown in the marketplace that was, somehow, due to derivatives that were, to a large extent, based upon a real estate bubble. The bubble bursts, everyone goes bust. But, and the best thing, to this day most people have no idea what really happened.

Well, here is the next big thing, "life settlements."

And what, you might ask, are "life settlements"? You buy a life insurance policy from an ill or elderly person. For example, you might pay $400,000 for a $1 million policy. The amount you would pay would depend upon the life expectancy of the insured person. Kind of like a reverse mortgage, only on your life. This gives the older person an immediate cash boost, and that has to help the economy, Right?

Now you "securitize" these policies you bought by packaging hundreds of thousands of them into bonds. These bonds will then be sold to investors who will receive payouts when the insureds, those old or elderly people, die. Wall Street would make its money by creating the bonds, selling the bonds, and trading the bonds. Inverstors make their money, well, when people die.

Now, of course, the sooner the insureds die the more, and more quickly, money is made by everyone. This sets up all kinds of interesting scenarios that I am sure some enterprising fiction writers will pick up on. For example, you bet heavily on these securites and then clean up in the market when you secretly unleash a deadly virus that attacks the old and sick. Or you orchestrate a health plan that withholds care from the old and sick in an effort to prop up a sagging economy. The possibilities are endless.

Remember, you heard about it here first.

Disclaimer: the above is intended to be satire and is not, in any way, to be construed as a political statement of any kind. Barman gave up politics for good when he, while in the sixth grade, lost the race for Chief Hall Monitor in what he still maintains was a fixed election. Barman did have an Eisenhower jacket once, and thought it was quite snappy.

Sashaying To Sha Sha's

My friends Bruce and Donna live within an easy walk of Sha Sha Resort. This place burned to the ground a few years ago and is now under new ownership. To everyone's credit, they rebuilt it pretty much as it was, and that is a good thing.

Almost There


And here it is, pretty much the same, but with a few enhancements.

Almost Like Old


The chipmonk, who survived the fire but with a badly burnt butt, has been either refurbished or replaced. But he occupies the same old spot.

Like An Old Friend


The old Sha Sha's had a lot of really nice mounted fish and elaborate wood-carvings but, alas, they all were destroyed in the fire. Luckily, there are several very accomplished wood-workers in this area and they all helped restore the old look.

The Mysterious Chinese Woman Makes A Friend


Who knows, that pelican may have migrated up here from Puerto Vallarta. They do that.

They have also added a bit of a retro, kind of 50's or 60's look to the place as well.

Last One Buys


The new owner remaned the bar inside the resort.

Fish Bones Bar


The story the bartender told was that the new owner had this large wooden sculpture of, well, fish bones, and wanted a place to hang it.

I Think It Should Go Here


And here is the usual crowd of reprobates spending a lovely day where it should be spent. Inside a bar.

Chris, Barman, and Bruce


I decided to head down to the end, or at least a corner, of the bar to have a drink with one of the regulars.

Something Fishy About This Guy


And no resort on the Canadian border would be complete without a Tiki Bar.

Sha Sha's Tiki Bar


They had a picture of an arial view of Sha Sha's resort and you can see where it really is at the end of the road. Keep heading north and you will be both wet and, not much further, in Canada.

No Man Is An Island


You can see how close Bruce's place is to Sha Sha's. Makes for an easy walk and you don't have to worry about driving home after you have had one too many. You do have to worry about everyone else driving home, though.

If you have a Bloody Mary here, be careful of the pickles. The bartender marinates them in the juices left over from the jalapenos that they use in their tacos, or whatever. Trust me, those pickles are hot, hot, hot.

This late in the year Sha Sha's is kind of winding down, but during the summer it really rocks. They have big dock parties and live music so it is a lot of fun. And they rent cabins which are pretty much booked up solid for the people who actually come up here to fish.

It's A Mystery To Me

I made the mistake of starting to read Dark Of The Moon by John Sandford while I was visiting my friends Sandy and Rico. It was a mistake because I didn't have enough time to finish the book, just enough time to get engrossed in it. And, based upon the bookmark I found in it, my friend Rico hadn't finished either. Damn, I couldn't even steal the book without feeling guilty.

For those of you who may not be familiar with John Sandford, he is a mighty fine mystery writer known primarily for a series of "Prey" novels: Rules Of Prey, Shadow Prey, Winter Prey, etc. These are very good mysteries, very well written. John Sandford is the pseudonym of Pulitzer Prize winning journalist John Camp.

What makes these mysteries even more interesting to me is that they are set largely in Minnesota; the Twin Cities and surrounding areas. Having been born in Minneapolis, and living there until I was in my 30's, it is interesting to read these books and recognize many of the familiar points of reference.

This morning I headed to Barne's and Noble to pick up Dark Of The Moon so I could finish the book. Much to my surprise I couldn't find any books by John Sandford in the Mystery section. Puzzled, I was about to leave but decided to check the Fiction and Literature section just on the off-chance they might be there. And they were.

I asked one of the people why John Sanford's books, clearly mysteries, were in the Fiction and Literature section and not with the other mysteries. This is one of those explanations that just make you scratch your head. I was told that if a mystery writer is really popular and has written a lot of books they but them in the Fiction and Literature section because it is bigger and they have more room.

Well, why wouldn't I have thought of that? I guess the idea of expanding the Mystery section either had not occured to anyone or was just too much work. I suggested that maybe they should put a little sign in the Mystery section suggesting that if someone couldn't find a book there they check the Fiction and Literature section. This seemed to fall on deaf ears.

I guess if you were looking for a travel book and the country you were interested in was really popular and a lot of books were written about it you might find it in the Fiction and Literature section as well.

Into The Far North

This is my first post since arriving home from Minnesota yesterday so I have some catching up to do. Didn't really take a lot of pictures while I was up there. Kind of lazy and we didn't go to a lot of bars. Anyway, I will be catching up over the next few days.

I also want to want to let you know that I changed my hit counter. The old one kind of went kaput and put up an erroneous count. I switched to another one and started the count at 650,000 this morning. It was over 638,000 on August 29th, the last time I made a note of it. I figured 650,000 was a nice round number and in the ballpark.

Okay, back to the matters at hand. While visiting with our friends Jon and Ruthie we decided to hit The Winton Liquor Store.

AKA WLS


Believe it or not, this place is one of the hottest around. But what brought us was the promise of midget wrestling.

How Could You Not Come?


Well, don't get too excited. There will not be any pictures. We saw the ad for this in a paper and it said "Women's Midget Wrestling." That, of course, is what got us interested. Except Ruthie who just shook her head, yelled something that sounded like "perfarts," as she left the room. I think that is what distracted us so that we misread the date. Damn, it is tomorrow, not today.

Some of our crowd found other ways to amuse themselves.

And They Bought Pull Tabs Too


Bar Man is not a big fan of pull tabs so I just turned away and concentrated on my drinking.

Rum And Coke


Earlier we helped Jon move his dock and I thought I would share these beefcake photos with you. Kind of to make up for not having any of the midget wrestlers.

My Buddy Cubby


Hard as it may be to believe, Cubby climbed Kilimanjaro just a few years ago. He is kind of our hero, although he is much younger than us.

It was Jon and his wife Ruthie who I came up to visit, Cubby and the guy in the background, Joe, had come up to go on a canoe trip. All four, Jon, Ruthie, Cubby, and Joe were heading into the boundary waters for 5 or 6 days. Although, to look at the size of their packs, you would have thought a 6 month artic expedition.

Jon Struttin' His Stuff


I just stayed at Jon's from Friday afternoon to Monday morning and then headed up to International Falls to visit my friends Bruce and Donna. More on that tomorrow.

A Sad Day

I was just informed that my very good friend, Bob Stabbert, passed away last night after a relatively short illness. He, along with his brother Fred, who passed last month, will be forever remembered and forever missed.

A lot of good times were shared with those two over the years; many a drink drunk, many a song sung, many a laugh laughed.

Nothing more can be said other than that they will both be missed. An era has, indeed, come to an end.

Hit Counter

Hmm, hit counter seems to have gone a bit haywire. Either that or I somehow racked up almost 400,000 hits in the last couple of days and have rolled over the million mark. Somehow that doesn't seem plausible. Maybe it is a temporary glitch and will correct itself.

But, what does it really matter.

Up North

Just a quickie today. I am now up in International Falls after spending a few days with friends in Ely. Actually, I am a bit beyond International Falls, beyond, even, Ranier. I am on Dove Island and beyond that is nothing but water. Luckily, right at the tip of Dove Island is Sha Sha's and the new Fish Bone Bar, which I visited yesterday.

Needless to say, I will have more to post and pictures as well when I return home to Brooklyn early next week.

Oh, the weather here has been surprisingly nice. Warm, sunny, couldn't ask for anything better. Let's see what the next few days bring. It could easily be snowng by the time I leave because it has been quite calm up until today and now the wind is really blowing. It seems to be coming from the south, though, so I am not sure what that means.

I was watching an old Dick Cavett show the other night and Groucho Marx was one of the guests. I don't know if you remember those old shows, but Dick would start them out by asking the audience a bunch of questions related to the guests; like who can name all of the Marx brothers. People usually forget Zeppo and, especially, Gummo.

Dick asked the audience to name people who had written scripts for the Marx brothers and one young lady in the audience answered "Salvador Dali." Well, Dick made fun of her for that answer and when she tried to explain he dismissively cut her off. The joke is on Dick, though. Salvador Dali did, indeed, write a script for the Marx brothers, "Giraffes on Horseback Salads." Granted, the movie was never made, but there you go.

And that is your trivia for the day.

A Day In The Life Of...

Ah, Bar Man would like to think he is in charge of his own life. Wouldn't we all? So I am sitting around in my usual state of, well, confusion. Do I pack for my trip, do I play WOW, just for a lttle bit, you know, Feed The Eagles and knock of one more quest, call it a day. But then, I am told that the Mysterious Chinese Woman's magical assistant is not working today and she, the Mysterious Chinese Woman, must go through a metamorphism alone, and in our apartment. And I must leave. Well, not really wanting to be around when an exoskeleton is being shed, I left.

First I stopped at Pete's Waterfront Ale House for a couple of beers with a friend. That is when the concept of the exoskeletons first came up. We started talking about old movies, then old horror movies (Night Of The Living Dead being the scariest I have ever seen), then the whole Married To A Zombie thing, then the question of what, exactly women do after they ask you to leave and, from there, it was just a small step to the shedding of the exoskeleton thing. You understand how men's minds work, especially after a few beers.

My friend left so I headed to Atlantic Chip Shop where, in my concern about what await me at home I decided to chroncle the demise of whatever I decided to drink. Somehow, I thought, it might foreshadow my own..., demise.

I walked in and the saucy Diana looked me in the eye and said, in a suggestive voice, what will it be, Big Boy.

Diana, The Huntress


Stammering, and a bit hesitant, although God knows, this wasn't my first time, I said one of those.

A Belhaven


It was like spotting a friend in an unexpected place. I knew it would be smooth, a bit malty, and a splendidly slow quenching of the thirst Diana had ignited (can you ignite a thirst?).

At the first pull I knew I was in for about as much as I could handle.

Everyting In Good Time


And then, like a slow seduction...

You Wait


And Wait


And Wait


Until finally you have that...

Perfect Moment


Ah, the anticipation and then the delicious shuddering satisfaction when finally you first press your lips to the dark seductive sweetness conveyed to your tongue by the creamy foam and then, then you are flooded by the liquid ecstasy...

Savoring The Moment, Shuddering With Excitement


Alas, too soon, the romance fades...

Fading Romance


Until, nothing but delicately woven faded memories are left...

Like Lace Curtains, Clouding The Mind


I headed back home and got there just in time to see the Mysterious Chinese Woman devoring the last of her shedded exoskeleton, pushing what looked like the remnants of an arm into her mouth while giving me a somewhat sheepish look. And, yet, she emerged, somehow, more radiant and gorgeous than when I left. Kind of like a snake when it first squirms out of its shedded skin. Or, when you think about it, a spider.

Women, I will never understand them.

Roberto's By Arthur

After a delightful barbecue at my Mysterious Sister-In-Law's house on Sunday I had to schlep back into the city to take care of some business. Everyone else had a play-date at the Bronx Zoo. It has become a bit of a tradition that when we go to the Bronx Zoo we head over to Arthur Avenue to eat at one of the fine Italian restaurants in that neighborhood. Of course I couldn't miss that so I took a subway up there and hooked up with everyone as they were leaving the zoo.

We decided to try a new place this time around. Jim thought Roberto's on nearby Crescent Street looked interesting, so that is where we headed.

Roberto's


We didn't have reservations and there were six of us. It was an adults only gathering, the three neices who had been to the zoo headed off with one of the aunts for a sleep-over. Kind of nice to have an adults only dinner once in awhile, and this was a nice place to have it. Small and nicely decorated. We did have a bit of a wait, but we passed the time at the bar. After a Moretti beer we decided to try a grappa. Jim had never had it before and they did have a fairly large selection.

Coming To Grips With Grappa


Jim Was Becoming A Bit Blurry


Just One Of The Boys


They had all kinds of interesting stuff on the menu and after a couple of orders of grilled octopus to start we got serious with the main course.

Jim Had Lamb Shank

We got to talking too much for me to remember to take pictures, or evern notes, of what everyone else had. I am sure there was some chicken and a seafood something in the mix. I had a rib steak that was covered in an excellent sauce with hot cherry peppers and gorgonzola cheese. Quite delicious. The steak was nice and tender and just the way I like it, medium-rare. It was a large portion and I couldn't eat it all. Jim, after polishing off his lamb shank finished off what I couldn't eat. Everything thought their meal was deicious.

The Whole Crowd


We finished up with a variety of deserts and coffees and one more grappa and then headed off into the night.

The service here was very friendly and efficient and the bartender was also a very friendly fellow. The only jarring note, and it was kind of funny, was that they blared some kind of an Italian birthday song when anyone announced it was someone's birthday. Given the fairly small and intimate setting, it was quite amazing how many people seemed to be having a birthday. Also, it is a very loud place. It doesn't look as though it should be, but the acoustics are such that it is a bit difficult to carry on a conversation. But those are minor complaints and I would certainly go back for the food, service, and ambience. And, of course, a few more grappas.



Tomorrow the Mysterious Chinese Woman and I are heading north for a week or so. Flying into Minneapolis and spending the first night at Black Bear Casino. Maybe I will get lucky. Then up to Ely and on to International Falls, visiting friends along the way. I will end up back in Minneapolis to visit with more friends and watch the Vikings with Brett Favre take on the Browns.

That should be quite an experience and I will be interested in seeing how all of my Minnesota friends react. I have some who I know think Brett will bring the Vikings to the next level and others who have sworn they will not watch a Vikings game while Brett is playing. Unlike in New York where most thought getting Brett was a good idea and you only had a few who were really vocal about stating an alternate opinion. And they were mostly like me, someone who had a history with Brett. In Minnesota, everyone has a history with Brett.

Hope Blooms Eternal

I was taking a stroll down Montague Street the other day, just checking things out and my heart burst with joy when I spotted the Armando's awning.

A Sign Of Hope


Of course a closer inspection revealed that it wasn't yet open.

Soon, Though


I talked to a woman who was standing in the door way and looked like she was somewhat in charge. She said Armando's should be open in a week or two. I kind of doubt this, though, because when I asked if a certain bartender, Paul, would be returning she said they hadn't started hiring yet. I am guessing that you would start hiring staff further in advance than just a week or two before opening. Plus, the interior didn't look close to being completed.

I asked if they would be able to re-install the landmark (my opinion only, it seems) lobster sign. She said, sadly, that she didn't think so. I suggested that it should be hung somewhere inside the restaurant but she said it was too big for that.

The Lobster Is Dead


The whole story about the lobster is kind of sad. When Armando's closed and the sign came down it couldn't be put back up because it now violates some signage law. Kind of a shame. You would think if the same restaurant with the same owner re-opens they should be allowed to put their original sign back up. The building is owned by the owner of the restaurant, so that isn't the issue. Oh well, what can you do.

On a brighter note, the woman did say that they saved the picture of Marilyn Monroe and they would be putting that back up.

Welcome Back, Marilyn


I then strolled on down to the promenade and, somewhat to my surprise, saw that a lot of work was actually taking place on the new park.

Men At Work


Apparently, parts of the park are actually supposed to be open by the end of the year. I am not sure if the dead of winter is the best time to be opening a park, but hey, at least progress is being made. Usually the only thing you see are the signs showing what may one day appear.

Promises, Promises


Whenever I see this broken down pier I think of that little patch of dark brown that they left when the renovated Grand Central Terminal to remind people of what the place used to look like.

They Should Leave It As A Reminder


Funny thing about this park, it is supposed to be self-sustaining. In other words, once it is open the maintenance fees are supposed to be generated by fees paid by private concerns located in the park rather than by taxes. The funny part is that, at least as far as the luxury condominiums being built, these fees are being paid in lieu of taxes. So what difference does it make? Indirectly, at least, the maintenace of the park is being funded by tax revenue that is not being collected.

Sightseeing done I popped into Pete's Waterfront Ale House for a pint of their daily special, Long Trail Belgian White, only $4.50 if you drink it at the bar. Then I headed down the street to the Atlantic Chip Shop. They were offering Newcastle Brown Ale's for just $4.oo during a football game between Arsenal and Celtic. Arsenal won and I was glad of that. Celtic had the stupidest looking uniforms I have ever seen. It was fine when they wore green and white, but for some reason they have switched to black and yellow.

How Hideous


I mean, even their socks were back and yellow stripes. Only a Pittsburgh Steelers fan could possibly find these uniforms attractive. My friend Allen, a Steelers fan, would probably pollinate all over himself if he saw this game

Oh, and in the category of things you just have to know, "ladoo" is an alternative spelling for "laddu." This has absolutely nothing to do with anything else in this post, but I thought I would throw it in just for the hell of it.

How To Give Lou Dobbs A Nervous Breakdown

Ask him if it is better to buy a Toyota manufactured in the United States, or a Chrysler manufactured in Mexico.