Mortified At Morton's

Last night I took my brother-in-law Jim and the Mysterious Chinese Woman to Morton's here in my neigborhood in Brooklyn. It was kind of a going away celebration (leaving for Mexico on Saturday) and a treat for Jim who looks after our place while we are away. It was my first visit to this Morton's and we had a great time.

From the lady at the door who asked for a last name and at least feigned laughter when I expressed sympathy that she must be an orphan if she didn't already have a last name, to the waitress, Jen, to the assistant general manager or whomever he was.

I immediately bonded with Jen whose wine recommedation was Blackstone Merlot, an old favorite of me. Her delivery when she announced the specials and presented the various cuts of meat and fish you could chose from was as good as a Groucho Marx routine.

The meal was fine, but not out-of-this-world great. It was up to standard steak house standards, which is really pretty high. I think the non-chain's like a Sparks or Peter Lugar's may have a bit of an edge. But that is just my opinion.

My Cajun ribeye was a wee bit overdone (my fault, really, I should have ordered medium rare) and a bit too salty. But then I notice most steak houses serve their meat on the salty side.

When I mentioned that my steak was a bit overdone I was immediately offered another one and was told I could have it in about five minutes. I said "no" because it really wasn't that over done and I had already eaten about half of it. I wouldn't have even mentioned it except that when Jen asked how everything was I just said mine was fine but..., well, you know the rest.

Jim's steak, I believe the double-cut Chicago ribeye, was done just the way he liked it and the Mysterious Chinese Woman enjoyed her filet. All in all everyone quite enjoyed their meal.

After our meal Jen asked if we wanted to take anything home. Both the Mysterious Chinese Woman and I had steak left over, so we wanted that. Jen asked about the salad and I went off and said no, we didn't have a rabbit, the rabbit died, and I didn't even know my wife was pregnant. This only vaguely makes sense if you are old enough to remember that a pretty common test for pregnancy was to inject a rabbit with the urine of a woman who might be pregnant. If the woman was pregnant there would be a corpora hemorrhagica in the rabbit's ovaries. You had to kill the rabbit to detect this but if they were bulging it meant the woman was pregnant. Needless to say all the rabbits died but somehow the phrase, "The rabbit died," came to be a euphemism for a positive pregnancy test after the late 1920 and early 1930s.

Anyway, Jen knew what I was talking about and said my train of logic was like something out of "Leaving Las Vegas." Strangely enough, I knew she meant "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas." So then we all started talking about Hunter S. Thompson. It was spooky.

After the meal I had ordered a Sambuca but the assistant general manager (I wish I knew his name) offered each of us a choice of brandy, Frangelica, port or Sambuca, on the house. We all chose port.

Jim and I each had a piece of Key Lime Pie for desert and it was one of the best I have ever had. It had a Grahm Cracker-crumb crust which I have always liked with cream type pies. That was the way my mother made pies like this. The pies were on the house too. I don't know if the after-dinner drink service and free pie was because I "complained" about my steak or not. If it was, it was way more than necessary. In fact, nothing was necessary. My steak was perfectly fine, tender, tasty, just a wee-bit overdone to my taste.

There was a crowded bar scene when we arrived around 8:00 PM, mostly a suit and tie crowd, and it was still going pretty strong when we left a couple of hours later. Kind of my bar crowd back in the days when Bar Man actually worked. Not really my scene these days, though. I think I have worn a suit twice since I retired ten years ago.

Anyway, we had a really great time and I will definitely go back again when some occasion warrants it, like I am in the mood for a good steak or a piece of key lime pie (the pieces were really big, too).

Oh, the mortified part. It seems that because Morton's has numerous enough restaurants to be considered by New York to be a chain, it has to abide by the, in my opinion, stupid law that you have to post the calorie count beside each item on the menu. It really looks kind of silly to look at a fancy menu and see this. I was told that they have to be posted on the wine list as well. I should have looked, but didn't need to when I ordered Jen's recommendation, the Blackstone Merlot.

Anyway, the mortification: my steak was 1,100 calories. Mercifully, the desserts were displayed on a tray and there was no menu, for which I am grateful. And I didn't peek at the wine list.



Okay, early tomorrow (5:00 AM pickup) we are off for sunny Puerto Vallarta. I will, of course, be posting from down there and I promise I will be more prolific with the pictures. I should have brought my camera last night.

Rewriting History

It is amazing how many blogs I have seen saying that Brett Favre's last pass with every team he has played on has been an interception. Excuse me, I am no fan of Brett Favre, but his last pass with the Jets was not an interception.

(:17) (Shotgun) 4-B.Favre pass short left to 29-L.Washington to NYJ 5 for 4 yards. Lateral to 4-B.Favre to NYJ 7 for 2 yards. 4-B.Favre pass incomplete short right to 89-J.Cotchery. PENALTY on NYJ-4-B.Favre, Illegal Forward Pass, 3 yards, enforced at NYJ 7.

Brett's second to his last pass with the Jets was an interception.

So Sad

Ah, a very gloomy Monday here in Jets land. Gray, windy, rainy..., reflective of my mood.

I cannot bring myself to watch ESPN SportsCenter yet, maybe later. I have read the NY Daily News, though. Interestingly, nobody seems to want to write about all of the penalties the Jets racked up. Six of them for 46 yards, three of them giving the Colts first downs. You don't beat a team like the Colts that way.

And one of the penalties that gave the Colts a first down was for having 12 men on the field. What the hell?

The Colts, one penalty for five yards.

Still, the Jets gave us a longer run than usual this year and, maybe, will be even stronger next year. But repeating a trip to the AFC Championship Game is no easy task, even for the great teams.

Interestingly, the Vikings were also penalized for having 12 men on the field in their loss to the Saints. That penalty damaging as well, moving the Vikings back five yards and just beyond field goal range.

And, in typical Brett Favre fashion, the game went into overtime after Brett threw an interception deep in Saints territory late in the fourth quarter. It looked like Brett had room to run within field goal range, too. In his defense, he did injure his leg earlier in the game and that may have slowed him up. Nobody can really accuse Brett of not being willing to take a hit. But Brett's last few seasons have pretty much ended with him throwing interceptions.

I guess now we can all start the annual "Will Brett Retire" routine again.

On the positive side (Bar Man always tries to look on the positive side), I won't have to worry about finding a place to watch the Super Bowl while I am in Mexico. Maybe I can find someplace quiet that will have curling on television. Maybe the trials for the 2010 Winter Olympics. Hell, I would even settle for re-runs.

Do you think they will party in New Orleans if the Saints win the Super Bowl?

Oh, and as a capper, although it actually happened before the Jets loss, the Knicks managed to get blown out in their game against the Mavericks, losing by 50. That's right, the big five oh. Now that is embarassing.

Are You Man Or Woman Enough?

I know I'm not, but you have to check this out, courtesy of my friend Kenneth at Thirsty Swagman:

From the kickass nightlife of Singapore, to the Thai New Year in Phuket - get ready to annihilate the finest pubs of South East Asia!

Your mission starts in Singapore, where some of the most unique and diverse Asian nightlife promises the perfect preparation for the world's toughest pub crawl experience - Phuket, Thailand.

And you'll be celebrating in style for the Thai New Year (Songkran) on the 13th April!

The hardest-rocking pub on planet earth, Rock City on Phuket's Patong Beach, will feature centre stage on this incredible tour, with VIP entry and exclusive cover bands pumping out AC/DC, Metallica and more, all night long.This tour has no places for wimps!

Details at: http://www.worldsbiggestpubcrawl.com/D24-asia-annihilator-april-2010.html

Now that sounds like a fun trip in a decidedly bizarre and, perhaps, perverted way as well. One of these years, one of these years.

J E T S - JETS! JETS! JETS!

Hey, I just can't help myself. For all of those who are not Jets fans I do apologize. Well, not really.

My hopes for a Jets/Vikings Superbowl are still alive.

Know what else would be gratifying? The Colts, who could maybe have eliminated the Jets from the play-offs if they hadn't pulled their starters and given up on a perfect season, get beaten by them next week. Now that would be poetic justice.

And remember, when the Colts did pull their starters they weren't exactly blowing out the Jets, leading by only 5 points.

And don't forget, it was the heavily favored Colts who were beaten by the Joe Namath led Jets in Superbowl III oh so many years ago. Of course back then the Colts were in Baltimore and The Raven was just a poem by Edgar Allen Poe.

For extra credit, upon whose bust did the raven sit?

Okay, I know. Having been a Jets since they played in Shea Stadium, it is always dangerous to get your hopes up too high. But damn, my hopes are up.

Left-Handed Jockey Shorts

I recently thought I had come up with a dynamite idea for a product, and maybe it still is. Jockey Shorts designed for the left-handed.

For those of you who are right-handed, you probably never notice how penalized (heh, penalized, penis, Jockey Shorts) left-handers are when it comes to using standard products.

Take you average pencil, for example. Sure, you can use it with either hand, but if you hold it in your left hand the writing on the pencil is upside down. So what, you might ask. Well, how many times have you been asked to use a No. 2 pencil when filling out a form or taking a test? A right-handed person can simply glance at their pencil to make sure they are using the right one. A left-handed person has to turn the pencil over, losing precious seconds. Cummulatively this has probably amounted to thousands of hours over the years. Enough lost time to complete a post-graduate degree.

So far I have only found a patent application for shorts that can be utilized equally by left-handers and right-handers.

"An underwear construction having a trunk panel, an inner panel with an open edge for providing access through the inner panel, an outer panel having openings along opposed side edges, the outer panel overlying the inner panel, wherein the trunk panel, inner panel, and outer panel are joined to provide a wearer of said underwear selective unencumbered access to the penis through either of the openings in said outer panel and through the open edge of said inner panel."

So there may still be an opportunity for jockey shorts, briefs, and even pants designed just for left-handers.

Also, if someone who is right handed is facing you, the left-handed construction will provide easier right-handed access for said person. The market for this product may be huge.

Bourbon County Stout, Toothpaste, And Glögg

If you get a chance to try a Goose Island Bourbon County Stout, by all means do so.

Here is their description, and it is fairly accurate: "A liquid as dark and dense as a black hole with thick foam the color of a bourbon barrel. The nose is an intense mix of charred oak, chocolate, vanilla, caramel and smoke. One sip has more flavor than your average case of beer." I concur.

It weighs in at a hefty 13% so one is all you need, and not a full pint, either. At the Waterfront Ale House they serve it in a hefty sized brandy snifter. And, although one is all you need, I did make a session of them a couple of nights in a row. I won't be doing so again, however.

I will post a few pictures of my last session later, if I can find my camera. At least I found my way home, but then I had the Mysterious Chinese Woman helping me along.



Something else to think about, Have you ever noticed the warning on toothpaste packages saying that if a child swallows more than is used for brushing you should seek immediate medical attention or contact a Poison Control Center?

I am heading to a friend's house for a party this afternoon so I am off to make my world-famous, at least in my neighborhood, glögg. It was originally called "glödgad vin" which meant "glowing-hot wine" The word "glögg" is a shortened form of this.

And my glögg is perfectly safe for children of all ages. As an aside, although this whole blog is an aside, an early form of this drink was consumed by Greeks and Romans and was considered healthy. Its popularity spread throughout the European nations and in the 1890s it became a Christmas tradition. It was often used as a health potion, and I recommend it for a wide variety of ailments, especially muscle strains induced by shoveling snow.

You can make a big batch of it and, theoretically, keep whatever is left over for a month or two in your refrigerator and then reheat it in your microwave. I say theoretically because I have never had any left over. Maybe I need a bigger pot to make it in. Or exhibit a bit of restraint. Nah, a bigger pot is the answer.

Dare One Dream

Now that the Jets, and I must admit I never saw this coming, are indeed a force to be reckoned with, I have one dream:

JETS kick the VIKINGS butts and thoroughly humiliate Brett Favre

Sorry my Minnesota friends, I just can't help myself. Brett used the Jets to get to Minnesota. Does anyone, after the season Brett is having now, really believe he injured his arm so badly he was forced to retire, before un-retiring (again) and going where he wanted to go when he left Green Bay?

It would somehow be poetic justice if the world's oldest living quarterback (okay, I will give you that he is having a tremendous year) loses to the rookie who replaced him.

And before you count out the Jets, remember, if you can catch a chicken you can catch greased-lightning. No, wait, that was Rocky. If you have the number one defense in the NFL you are a force to be reckoned with. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, and Sanchez only went 12-of-15 for 182 yards, no interceptions, and a passing rating of 139.4 against the Bengals on Sunday. Brett who?

Interesting to contemplate, out of the Jets last three quarterbacks the only one who didn't get us into the playoffs was Brett.

Something To Consider

I just read that the Tiger Woods golf course in Dubai, when it is completed, will require four million gallons of desalinated water each week. The desalination process generates as much in emissions per gallon as burning a gallon of gas in an automobile.

On the other hand, if you can afford to build islands to represent the world I guess you can pretty much do just about anything.

The World In Dubai


Those aren't just little islands either. You are talking about islands where you can put up resorts and have plenty of room left over for luxurious vacation homes.

And let's not forget Dubai's ski-resort inside a shopping mall.

Puts Mall Of America To Shame


Dubai also just completed the world's tallest building.

Burj Dubai

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you don't have to worry about bureaucracy or democracy or any of that stuff that just gets in the way and slows you down. It is good to be the king, or the sheik, or whatever.

I guess we can take a bit of pride in the fact that our consumption of oil helped build all of this stuff.

Random Thoughts

If I did an email filter on "enlarge," "penis," and "manhood" I probably wouldn't get any email at all.

Have you noticed that more and more television commercials have a telephone ringing somewhere in the background? I think this is to get your attention because somehow you always subconsciously respond to a ringing telephone.

I hate getting official looking mail that says "Important Tax Information, Open At Once" only to find out it is an advertisement for a tax preparation service.

Would you buy a ShamWow from this man?



I did get a Slap Chop for Christmas, though.

CNNI

I have a recommedation for those of you who like news but get tired of the repetitive pap you get on most news programs. Even The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer tends to go into repeat mode after the first hour. Jack Cafferty's cynicism keeps it interesting, though.

I may have already mentioned that I like BBC, but I just recently discovered CNNI, CNN's international news channel. I would strongly recommend that you check it out if you can get it. For those of you who like business news with a bit of a twist I recommend Quest Means Business with host Richard Quest. Quite informative and very entertaining.

If it hadn't been for CNNI I wouldn't have known about the cricket scandal concerning doctored balls. The cricket balls, not the player's. Although after the Tiger Woods scandal I can see where there might be some confusion (but that would be golf).

Speaking of Tiger Woods, be sure to check out this month's issue of Vanity Fair. Or at least the cover. I am holding my breath while waiting for a similar picture of John Daly.

Airport Security

Let's see, the result of someone sneaking explosives aboard an airplane in their shoe is that we now have to remove our shoes when we go through security. And the result of someone trying to sneak explosives aboard an airplane in their underwear will be...?

The sad thing is that for a long time I had joked that if the shoe-bomber had stuffed his explosives up his butt we would now be having cavity searches before we could board an airplane. I guess I wasn't too far off base.

And, let me get this straight, days after a supposed increase in airport security someone walks, unimpeded, into a secure area in the Newark Airport bypassing all security checks simply by using the, apparently unguarded, exit? And this causes major delays, dozens of flights to be grounded, arriving flights to be delayed because delayed departures were blocking the gates, and thousands of people to be rescreened.

Of course, they never found the person who bypassed security. Officials said "It was possible the man simply walked the wrong way through the security checkpoint," whatever that means. They should also have said none of the security measures seemed able to prevent this.

The thing that I think about is Can you imagine all of the places such as bars, restaurants, shops, bathrooms, etc. where this person could have hidden explosives during the confusion when everyone was being cleared from the area to be re-screened?

Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy about our new "enhanced" airport security.

Okay, I know this is a bit of a differnt subject than what I usually post about, but I do spend a fair amount of time in airports and on airplanes, and I do blog about airport bars and restaurants.

Of course after posting this I will probably be forced to take a bus when I go to Mexico at the end of the month.

Be Still My Beating Heart

The year 2010 is proving to be very interesting so far.

After a spectacular comeback against Atlanta (and Nat Robinson scoring over 40 points) the Knicks creamed Indiana today, beating them 132 to 89. At one point they were leading by 48, the biggest lead any team has had so far this season. The Knicks have now won 10 out of their last 15 games.

And, as I post this, the Jets are killing the Bengals, up 27 to zip at the half and holding the Bengals to a total of 7 yards. If the Jets win tonight they are in the play-offs.

Oh, and Brett Favre passed for over 300 yards, 4 touchdowns and no interceptions as the Vikings beat the Giants 44 to 7. Brett has passed for over 30 touchdowns this year for the ninth time in his career and for over 4,000 yards for the sixth time. And, most surprising, he has thrown only 7 interceptions, the fewest in his 18 year run as a starter. Give him another few years and I bet he will be really good.

Oh Brett, where were you last year when you were a Jet?

Addendum: Jets won 37 to zip and face the Bengals again on Saturday for round one of the playoffs. GO JETS

Getting Back To Normal And A Blue Moon

My life is slowly returning to normal. The Knicks managed to pretty much get blown out by the lowly Nets last night.

Tonight will be a once-in-a-Blue-Moon New Year. For those of you who may not know, a Blue Moon is the second full moon occuring in a single month. And tonight will be the second full moon this month. The last time this happened to usher in a New Year was in 1990.

See, this is why you read this blog, for the totally useless arcane knowledge that you at times, very rarely, glean.

But what does "glean" really mean? Originally it meant the act of collecting leftover crops from a farmers' fields after they have been commercially harvested, or in fields where it is not economically profitable to harvest. In the case of birds, it means to collect insects from the surface of a leaf. "Dumpster Diving" is sometimes refered to as "Garbage Gleaning."

And, with those parting thoughts, I will leave you with wishes for the happiest of a New Year, or, at least, the happiest in a blue moon.

Now I am off to make Rice Krispie Squares. I find that if you lace them with Vanilla Vodka it takes the edge off the sugar high and keeps my little neices calmer. Of course I also spike their hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps. They love their Uncle Barman.

I Could Have Been Killed

Well, actually, that would have been a stretch. However, there was an article in this morning's New York Daily News about a woman who claims she was injured when a moosehead fell off a wall and hit her in the head.

Duck, Duck, Moose!

Woman sues eatery after it falls, hits her



Now this happened in the White Slab Palace, a Scandinavian-themed bar on Delancey St. on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Interestingly, however, there was something strangely familiar about the picture of the "moose" that accompanied the article. Namely, it wasn't a moose, it was a caribou.

Barman, who has an amazing ability to relate obscure thoughts (but has a hard time following simple directions like put away the dishes), immediately thought of the Good Bar & Grill in Chinatown where he initially mistook a caribou head for a moosehead. And, as it turns out, Annika Sundvik, an art gallery owner, just opened White Slab Palace last February. But, wait, Annika Sundvik also owned, drumroll please, Good Bar & Grill. Sadly, the Good Bar & Grill has closed. To make room for condominiums, I do believe. Sad, so very sad.

But, the very caribou head that appears in my post (back in July of 2005) of the Good Bar & Grill was, apparently, relocated to the White Slab Palace where it, allegedly, fell on someone's head.

655) Good World Bar & Grill


If you missed the sign, and it is easy to do, here is a closer look.



This isn't the easiest place to find, but well worth the effort. It is in the part of Chinatown not as popular, on the east side of the Bowery. Canal Street, the main drag through Chinatown, takes a bit of a hook under the Manhattan Bridge and if you just follow it for about six blocks you come to Orchard. Take a right and go to Number 3 and there you are. This is the perfect place if drinking under the baleful eye of a dead caribou is what you crave. I know, I know, originally I said this was a moose but I was wrong, as many people pointed out to me.

Anna, The Live Bartender, And The Dead Caribou

A black stone topped bar with unusually high, and I do mean high, black metal barstools with black cloth seats. I would hate to fall of one of these babies, but the bartender said it has happened. Light yellow and green painted plaster walls with significant chippage. An old dark pea-soup green painted tin ceiling with exposed pipes for the sprinklers and wiring conduits. Gives the place kind of a funky look. Old greenish white globe lights hang over the bar and the flooring is old wood. There is just a minimal setup behind the bar but they have a surprisingly large beer selection written in fading chalk on the green wall behind the bar. How about a Harvistouns Old Engine Oil from Scotland? Sounds yummy, doesn't it?

They also have a very extensive wine selection and interesting items on the menu such as a rabbit and fois gras terrine with blueberry pickled bok choy as an appetizer. The place is owned by Swedes so they have four kinds of aquavit available and you can buy it by the bottle for only ninety-five bucks. No lutefisk though. Thank goodness for little things. Anna said they would have it but it just smelled up the place to badly. I know for a fact that is true. My father loved lutefisk and I would flee the house on the few occasions my mother prepared it.

Little round tables with orange and yellow chrome and plastic chairs are strewn about the place. Low blank benches with black cushions line the wall opposite the bar and small square tables sit in front of it. There are floor to ceiling windows in the front and a neat little back yard with picnic tables for outdoor eating.

I had a draft Bolleke. This is an everyday beer in Antwerp, easy to drink, and not too bitter, the red-brown ale has almost a cinnamon spice hint to its flavor. Actually, a bolleke is a bell-shaped high-stemmed glass that is used in Antwerp to serve any highly-fermented beer but generally means the beer that I had, which is actually a De Koninck. And, yes, it was served in the appropriate glass.

A Life In Disarray

Let's start with the Jets. They actually have a shot at making the playoffs. All they have to do is beat the Bengals on Sunday and they are in. More surprisingly, the early line makes them 10 point favorites. If you would have told me such a thing was possible a month ago I would have told you that you were crazy.

Now, onto the Knicks. I am actually starting to warm up to them again. Granted, they aren't likely to go anywhere this year, but they are playing better and winning more than half the time. And the new coach seems to know what he is doing. I totally agree with him sitting Curry and if Nate doesn't play like the coach wants, then keep him sitting too until he learns how. Nate could be really good one day if he ever settles down.

But, most surprisingly, after last night's Vikings/Bears game I actually felt sorry for Brett Favre. He brings the Vikings back to tie the game (should have been ahead except for a missed point after) with about five minutes to play, Bears then run the kick-off back 59 yards leading to a quick touchdown, and then with just 16 seconds left, Brett manages to tie the game up again sending it into overtime. Sadly, the Bears score first after recovering a fumble by Adrian Peterson and the Vikings lose. Remember, if not for a missed point after the Vikings would have won in regulation.

Now, if someone told me that one day I would actually feel sorry for Brett Favre, I would have said they were not only crazy, but an idiot as well.

Now you can see why my life is in a state of total disarray.

The Sawmill Ladies

My friend Tom, who was with the group in Las Vegas, is a regular at The Sawmill Saloon, a bar and restaurant in Virginia, Minnesota. I have been there many times myself, usually on the way to visit my friends Bruce and Donna who live in International Falls.

It seems as though The Sawmill Saloon now puts out a calendar, and Tom wanted me to share part of it with you. Perhaps he will send me a 2010 update.

For more information about The Sawmill Saloon, just click on the picture. It is always fun to click on Weather and find out what life would be like if you were living in Virginia, Minnesota. Kind of a balmy 7 above the last I looked, but then that was in July.

Just kidding, it was actually about 6:30 PM today.

Las Vegas At Last

First, a bit of a shout-out to Jet Blue. I try to fly Jet Blue whenever I can, the are reasonably priced and the service is excellent. Plus they have a brand-new terminal at JKF that is really nice. Plenty of bars that always seem to be open.

I like the individual DirectTV screens too. You can kind of mindlessly channel surf your way through most trips. And they have Sirius Radio too. On my trip back to New York from Las Vegas the whole TV and Radio thing was having a problem so they had to reboot the system, or whatever they do. The announced in advance that they were doing this and the service must have been out for five minutes at the most, and during the time when the stewardess and pilot are making their announcements anyway. No big dea. So it was a real pleasant surprise to get a $15 voucher as a "gesture of apology and goodwill." Not a lot of money, but how many other airlines would go to all of this trouble and expense for a truly minor problem?

Anyway, I thought Jet Blue deserved a bit of a pat on the back for this.

Our first bar that wasn't just a bar in a casino was this nice pub somewhere on the strip. It was affiliated with a casino, or a hotel, or something. I just can't remember exactly where. We were on a bit of a ramble. It was a very nice place with a whole hell of a lot of beers on draft. I am not sure how many but you can get an idea from the array behind me.

The small round signs say The Pub and there is a picture of a whale on them. The lighting is predominently blue, so maybe it is affiliated with The Ballena Azul in Puerto Vallarta. The decor is similar.

Barman At Ballena Azul North


One of my buddies who goes on these now annual Las Vegas treks is my "fishing" buddy. Actually, he is the guy who owns the cabin where we hold the gathering.

Jerry And Barman


Three others are Jon (he who will not smile), Tom and Albie. All of these guys grew up in Northern Minnesota in what is known as The Range. How I ever hooked up with these guys is a long and long forgotten story. Suffice it to say that many of us have know each other for almost forty years. Tom is, for me, a relative newcomer. I first met him at last year's get-together.

Jon, Tom and Albie


Albie goes out to Las Vegas several times a year and knows the town pretty well. Plus he also rents a car so we can get to some out-of-the-way places, like Frankie's Tiki Room.

You have to love the lighting in downtown Las Vegas. A lot of it is from old casinos, bars, and what have you that are long gone. They did a nice job restoring them.

My Kind Of Sign


The Griffin has become a bit of a favorite of mine since I stumbled into it a year or two ago. It doesn't open until late and has a bouncer so you know it is my kind of place.

The Griffin


Just three of us were making the rounds this night. We had gone out to eat and were having a few nightcaps as we made our way back to our hotel.

John, Laura, Barman and Tom


I think the bartender's name was Laura. I actually did write it down but then, of course, misplaced my notepad. We chatted with her for awhile and then with another guy at the bar and they recommended that we try the bar around the corner for some classic cocktails. I think they were trying to be helpful. Or, maybe, they were just trying to get rid of us.

downtown.


downtown. (not sure why that period is there) is around the corner from The Griffin and down the block a bit. Kind of a deserted side street at that, and the sign isn't all that big. You could easily miss this place, but you should try not to.

A bit of advice, the actual door is on the left hand side of what looks like what should be a glass door. On the right side is another window that looks like it could be a door. The door doesn't look anything like a door. I guess it is customary for those already in the bar to laugh at the people trying to get in through the windows. People like us.

I had recently purchased a bottle of Pernod Absinthe to take up to our Annual Fishing Trip (nothing says fishing like absinthe) so it was interesting to see an old-time absinthe dispenser. You load it up with ice cubes and pour in the absinthe. Then you drip the absinthe over a sugar cube into the glass of your choice.

Now if Gevalia would offer one of these if you ordered their coffee I might re-join their club. I already have enough of their coffee makers.

The Perfect Addition To Any Home Bar


We were told this place specialized in old-time cocktails so that is what I went for, an old time Old Fashion. You put a dash or two of bitters on a sugar cube and then muddle that with an orange slice. Then you fill the glass with ice-cubes and bourbon and give it a stir. Garnish with another orange slice and, if you must, a Maraschino cherry.

The Mixologist At His Work


It was a very tasty drink, and a very good pour.

The Old Fashion Barman


The Griffin and Downtown are two mighty fine bars and a nice change from the casino bars. Although it is kind of nice to pop ten dollars into a video poker game at a casino bar and get your drinks for free. A word of warning, though, if you are in a bar that offers frozen margaritas for a dollar, you might want to skip that option. You won't get a buzz but you will leave with a sickly sweet taste in your mouth and a good chance of heartburn later.

Mary Pickford

Okay, this post is only tangentially related to Las Vegas, but related it is. My friend Bruce gave me a birthday present while we were in Las Vegas. And a mighty fine present it was.

A Present For Barman


I love classic cocktails and this book is full of them. Several of us who were in Las Vegas are also regulars at the annual Fishing Opener in Minnesota. Our motto - Bring The Opener, Forget The Fishing. Anyway, everyone thought it would be a brilliant idea if I was responsible for selecting and preparing a Fishing Opener Signature Cocktail each year. I thought that the first one, appropriate for a bunch of manly men such as ourselves, should be the Mary Pickford.

A Very Merry Mary Pickford


Of course it would be remiss of me to just spring a drink on the boys without testing it first.

The Mysterious Chinese Woman and I went to Armando's for dinner last night and on the way home I stopped by the liquor store to pick up most of the ingredients while the Mysterious Chinese Woman dutifully trotted off to pick up the pineapple juice. What a trooper. A trotting trooper.

Some Assembly Required


A quick aside, courtesy of Todd at the liquor store - you can substitute the Marischino Liqour for Sweet Vermouth in most drinks. In fact, according to Todd, who is seldom wrong, the use of Marischino Liquor pre-dates the use of Sweet Vermouth.

I was concerned about being able to pick up the Grenadine because in New York liquor stores can only sell liquor and wine. No beer, no mix, no olives, nothing. Llord's, however, makes a special version of Grenadine with 1% alcohol and this somehow gets around the law and allows it to be sold in New York liqour stores. Rose's once made a version of their lime juice that way, but I don't think they do anymore. At least I haven't seen it for awhile.

Mixing It Up With Mary


And it turns out just like the picture.

Pretty And Pink


Of course, the final test has to be the taste.

Kissing Mary


A very good drink indeed. Quite refreshing, a wee bit sweet, but nothing cloying. Just as long as we don't start sticking our pinkie fingers out while we slurp them down.

I promise, a few more pictures from Las Vegas tomorrow. I was very lazy yesterday.

Frankie's Tiki Room - Las Vegas

I love Tiki bars, always have and always will. And I really like dive bars as well. So naturally I really love dive Tiki bars, and Frankie's Tiki Room fills the bill perfectly.

Frankie's Tiki Room

If you click on the picture above you can go to the Frankie's Tiki Room website which, as you can imagine, is quite interesting.

Frankie's Tiki Room is not somewhere your average visitor to Las Vegas is likely to stumble upon. On the other hand, if a tourist did find this place, they most probably were stumbling. It is out where the locals live and play, and it is kind of a non-descript white building with a small parking lot next to a gas station. The reason I talked my buddies into going was that I had seen an ad in Modern Drunkard Magazine, the magazine my brother-in-law bought me (along with a subscription) for my birthday.

Modern Drunkard Magazine is a mighty fine read. Click on the picture below for a link to their website, you won't be disappointed.

But I digress. As any good dive bar should be, this place was amazingly dark. When you first walked in you were, for all purposes, blind. There were a couple of small televisions playing cuts from some of the strangest movies I have never seen. They looked like they ranged from the 1930's to the 1960's and the common theme was, well, that is a very good question. Things vaguely Tiki, I guess.

But what they considered vaguely Tiki seemed to range from Zombie movies, very appropriate, to Hawaiian dancers, also appropriate, to what looked like an early version of Charlie's Angels. A very early version. Scene's from I Married A Genie would have fit in, somehow. Right next to the scenes from I Married A Zombie.

The drinks ranged from the standard dive bar beer and a shot to the standard Tiki fare such as Mai Tai's, Navy Grog's, and Zombies, to their more eclectic Tiki creations such as the Green Gasser and the Bearded Clam.

Bearded Clam Glass


I stuck with the Zombies, which were very good indeed. The bartender said it was someone's original 1956 recipe, and I have no reason not to believe her. They were quite tasty and very rummy.

The More Standard Tiki Fare


My buddies all stuck to the standard dive-bar drinks, mostly Rum and Cokes. No sense of adventure. I was also the only one to buy the must-have Frankie's Tiki Room calendar.

How About A Date


Frankie's Tiki Room was a great little find and I want to thank Modern Drunkard Magazine for bringing it to my attention. If you ever get to Las Vegas I would strongly recommend that you make the extra effort necessary to visit this place.



After we left Frankie's we headed to the Double Down Saloon. Both Frankie's Tiki Room and the Double Down Saloon are owned by the same person, group, or whatever. There is also a Double Down Saloon in the East Village in Manhattan and it too is part of the same group. I will certainly make a point of getting there.

I will cover The Double Down Saloon and the rest of my trip, if it all fits, tomorrow. Time to watch some football and then meet The Mysterious Chinese Woman and a couple of her Mysterious Sisters for dinner sometime between the end of the Jets game and the start of the Giants game.