Several readers of my blog have sent me emails asking, Is that Chris's real hand? It looks so, well, manicured. It is not. Chris, a Minnesota Gopher football fan once attended an away game at the University of Wisconsin. Bucky, the Badger, in a drunken frenzy, bit off my friend's hand.
Bucky, The Badger
Sadly, Bucky remains free while my friend Chris has to carry his burden with him for the rest of his days.
Luckily, however, great strides have been made in prosthetic hands so Chris's not only looks nice:
It functions well.
Get A Grip (apologies to Aerosmith)
Unfortunately, it took a bit of a hit with the flaming Absinthe.
Just A Flesh, er, Plastic Wound
We are hoping that either his health or automobile insurance will allow him to upgrade to the latest model prosthetic. This one does almost everything.
New And Improved
This is a vast improvement over the earlier models.
A Very Early Model
Well, there you go. But please, no more questions about prosthetics. Penile implants are strictly off-limits.