Beer For Brains

First off, my favorite football team, Chivas, must be doing well. At least their picture was on the front page of a local paper today and they looked happy.

Go Chivas


I don't read Spanish, so I am not sure what the celebration was all about, but I thought I should share this with you.

Okay, so I decided to go for my morning walk on Sunday. I read about a place, Bar del Puerto that runs The Tacky Bar Tour. Now I pride myself on knowing most of the tacky bars around Puerto Vallarta, but I am always up for a professionally run tour. The location of the bar was given as Carranza. And here is where my brain ran dry.

I opened up the paper to check a map and the first one I saw was:



Okay, I knew where Carranza was, and then I saw the map, and I said "Shit, way up there and on the other side of the river." But I figured I needed the exercise so over the river and up the hill I went.

It had rained the night before so there were really huge puddles in the street. I wonder what it is like in the rainy season.





The storm that brought in the rain was also pushing the waves pretty hard too. Much larger than normal.



Anyway, I walked over to the north side of town and then started to head up the hills.



Doesn't look too high until you get to the top and then look down.



And if you think taking the steps is a piece of cake, think again. Handrails are for wimps and there are no liability laws in Mexico.



But trooper that I am, onward I went.









And, after all that hiking and climbing, I never did find the bar. So, back I headed to meet some friends at Sweeny's for their morning Happy Hour. And then it hit me, there is another Carranza right by where I live. A street I am intimately familiar with because of the dive bars. How the hell I didn't think about that earlier I do not know. As I said, beer brains.

My Neck Of The Woods


Close To Home


I never did find the bar, but I will. I was so thirsty and I had friends waiting for me at Sweeny's so Happy Hour was calling. When I do find the bar and find out more about The Tacky Bar Tour I will let you know. Actually, I bet, I could show them a thing or two.

Deck Dinner

First, let me say, it is all about the eggs.

My World Famous Deviled Eggs


Bought the eggs the day before, rotated them to center the yolks, hard-boiled to perfection, and made with my unique, today only, recipe. Mustard, of course, mayonaise, some creamy horseradish sauce, and a couple of spoonfulls of an adobe sauce. Then sprinkled with a Mexican spice mixture. Quite delicious, if I do say so myself.

But, I am gettng ahead of the story. The Mysterious Chinese Woman and I have been coming down here to Puerto Vallata for about 10 years or so. Me, closer to twenty-five. Now, when we get down here and meet our friends the refrain is always the same. It seems like you have never left. All of our friends that we only see when we are here are, where else, here.

So, after hanging out for several days we decided to have a dinner party on the deck. Everyone brought something and I brought, guess what, deviled eggs.

Just some random shots of the party. We had everything from baked beans to sausages and cheese to rotisserie chicken bought from across from Rizo's supermarket and served with fried peppers and onions to the ultimate dessert, brownies with Hagen Daz ice cream and a homemade chocolate sauce.

Just a bunch of pictures of a lot of long-time Puerto Vallarta friends having a wonderful evening together and the food we got to enjoy.













We had such a great time we thought we should do this every Saturday night. Then we remembered that next Saturday is Valentine's Day and we are all going out to dinner. We are having our next one on the 21st of February and it will have an Italian theme. Why, I don't know, but this is what was decided. Now I have to come up with an Italian recipe for deviled eggs.

Puerto Vallarta, my home away from home. Or, is it that Brooklyn is my home away from home. Sometimes I forget.

Breakfast Of Champions

I went out for my morning walk before breakfast today and I hadn't wandered too far before I came upon a couple of guys and a woman shucking their morning haul of oysters. Now you know these have to be fresh.

From The Sea To You


Well, how could I resist. At 80 pesos a dozen it was a deal as well. At today's exchange rate that was $5.63 or under fifty cents each. And these are good sized oysters, too.

Such A Deal


They were delicioso, sweet and succulent with a bit of the sea-saltiness to them. They give you a couple of limes and some hotsauce and more salt, if you wanted it. Me, just a spritz of the lime and a dollop of the hotsauce and down the hatch they go.

Perfectly Fresh And A View Of The Bay


Of course when I told the Mysterious Chinese Woman about my breakfast her first comment was "Aren't you afraid of getting heppatitus, or something?" I have eaten everything from food from street vendors in Vietnam to mystery meat in the marketplace of Spain and never had a problem so I wasn't too worried. On the other hand, The Mysterious Chinese Woman boils the water in New York City.

Plus, I stopped by Sweeny's afterwards for a beer and a shot of tequila, just to be on the safe side. Man, I love that morning happy hour they have.

Joe Jack's Fish Shack

Joe Jack's Fish Shack is an absolute must if you are looking to satisfy your craving for fish and chips here in Puerto Vallarta. They are some of the best I have had anywhere, and certainly one of the best here in Puerto Vallarta. I would say the best, but I know I would hear if from some of the other places that serve them. Sweeny's comes to mind.

Joe Jack's Fish Shack


While we waited for our drinks to be served we were given a refreshing little veggie platter.

A Healthy Appetizer


Cucumbers, jicama, and a radish or two really hits the spot.

And here is the Fish and Chips, served with a lot of excellent tartar sauce and a nice big mound of coleslaw.

Just Like Jolly Old England


They also had a whole red snapper on the menu. The Mysterious Chinese Woman opted for that. They, like most places, only serve it when they get it fresh that day and they said they have it delivered twice a day if it is available.

Fresh Snapper


This really was delicious. Even better than El Dorado. They blacken it here so it is nice and spicy. As you can see, nothing went to waste.

The After Picture


The have a bar downstairs and a small eating area but the upstairs deck always seems more inviting. Not a great view, but you do get to look out over the street at the nearby restaurants.

The View From The Terrace


I am more interested in the old Mexican movie posters, one of which you saw in my last post.

Ah, If Only They Were Still Playing


Actually, when Commander U.S.A. had his television program in New York he showed a bunch of the Santo movies. A real trip to watch, particularly if you were a bit, shall we say, removed from the real world. Santo is a professional Mexican wrestler who never, even when he is not wrestling, removes his silver mask. Improbably, he is always getting involved with spys or futuristic beings bent on taking over the earth. Of course there is always the obligatory wrestling match or two thrown in just for good measure.

My Hero, Santo


I started out with a regular Mojito but for my second drink the waitress, Ivette, suggested the ginger Mojito. A great suggestion.

Bar Man Sipping His Ginger Mojito


Bar Man And Ivette


Even though it is a fish shack, they do have the obligatory head of bull mounted on the wall.

Maybe They Serve Bullheads


Joe Jack's is a relative new-comer to Puerto Vallarta, only been here a few years now, but it was a hit almost from the day it oppened. If you ever eat there you will know why. I am sure I will be back again this visit.

My Morning Walk

I got up early this morning and took a nice walk along the malecon, all the way to the end where there is a place that you can buy really fresh fish and have them clean them for you to your specification; gutted and scaled, fileted, you name it. On the way I passed the pier where a crowd was already lining up for the water taxis and party boats.

The Local Taxi Stand


A bit further along I was able to get this nice shot of the river. It looks like it is really high, but this part is influenced by the tide and this is actually water flowing into the river from the bay.

River View


As I headed on home I made the mistake of passing by Sweeny's.

Flypaper


Like a fly to, well, to honey, I was compelled to climb the inviting stairs.

C'mon Up And See Me Sometime


Just my luck, Sweeny's has a morning happy hour. It actually is just an hour too, because they don't open until 11:00 P.M. Still, it is a nice tip of the hat to those of us who really need, er, I mean, would like a morning libation.

Beer For Breakfast


I got there about ten minutes before noon but the bartender was nice enough to let me buy a back-up at about two minutes before noon after she announced that happy hour was ending.

The Thoughtful Bartender


I think she said her name is Brenda, but I might be mistaken. I told her she looked familiar but that I didn't remember her working at Sweeny's. She said she used to work next door at Andale's, the bar with the burro, so that is where I had seen her. We had a pleasant conversation about the burro. The usual, Is he well regarded by other burros? does he roll around in the barn to get the smell of the perfume off at the end of his day? Typical bar conversation. Brenda did say that the burro's best friend was a dog. I will need to get more information about that relationship the next time I go to Sweeny's.

Here is a teaser for my next post, but don't get too excited. I did not go to a wrestling match.



By the way, I have been having intermittent problems linking to my website when I use http://www.thousandbars.com/ as the address.

On the other hand, http://www.thousandbars.blogspot.com/ seem to work consistently.

Let me know if anyone else is having problems.

Heeere's Johnny

I popped into Canto del Mar the other morning to see if my friend Johnny was still there. He was there alright, shucking oysters to sell on the beach, his day job. I asked him if he was still singing and he said he would be singing that night at 5:00 P.M. so I said we would be sure to show up.

Canto de Mar


It is easy to miss this place. Just a little white building with a narrow walkway leading back to the tables.

A Hidden Paradise


It is right next to the much larger Burro Bar so if you are coming from the south it is right before and if you are coming from the north it is right after. If you are walking along the beach it is much easier to spot.

We got a whole group together for the fun.

The Women Folk


The Hombres


Of course Johnny came over and gave all the girls a hug.

Johnny With Kathy And Marcie


Being as how it was just the day after The Mysterious Chinese Woman's birthday she got a special song and a special hug.

It Is Good To Be Special


We sat around listening to Johhny sing and slurping down our frozen margritas until sunset.

Another Beautiful Puerto Vallarta Sunset


The frozen margaritas really helped with the blistering heat of the salsa dip for the chips. The waiter just laughed at us when we commented about how hot the salsa was and proceded to load up a chip and eat it just to show us it wasn't that bad. Well, maybe not to him, but believe me, this was much hotter than your average salsa.

Afterwards everyone wandered off and I decided to stop into El Dorado for an early nightcap at the barren bar.

Bar Man And The Barren Bar


It really is a nice bar and Hector and Mariana were still singing Amy Winehouse tunes so I was happy.

Hector And Mariana


I am not sure how late I stayed, but by the time I toddled home I was ready for bed. It probably didn't help that I had started out the day with a pre-noon happy hour at Sweeny's. But more on that later.

Bar Man Eats Crow

The Mysterious Chinese Woman has been vindicated. Debbi from the Banana Cantina here in Puerto Vallarta sent me an email explaining this sculpture:



It is a Mexican woman washing her clothes in the river. I guess that explains why it is located right by the river. I will have to say, in my defense, that I have seen many a Mexican woman washing their clothes in the river and none of them looked anything like this sculpture.

On the other hand, I have never seen a Chinese laundry in Puerto Vallarta either.

La La La Lorraine

Tonight was the first of the two birthday's the Mysterious Chinese Woman celebrates each year. Her real one, because she was born in China, is based upon the lunar year and so fluctuates on our Julian calendar. To avoid confusing the somewhat linear American mind she simply chose February 1 as her birthday when she came to the United States. Of course, later in the year I always get a reminder from the Mysterious Mother-In-Law that the real birthday is coming up and I should do something appropriate. Whenever I bring up the unfairness of this the Mysterious Chinese Woman reminds me that the Queen of England celebrates two birthdays a year and she, the Mysterious Chinese Woman, is my queen. Now you try to argue with logic like that.

My Queen, By Decree Of Her Majesty


Anyway, I read a letter to the editor about La Lorraine in the local weekly here, the Puerto Vallarta Mirror. I also read the identical letter in the rival weekly, the Puerto Vallarta Tribune. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. However, in both papers the response by the editor was also favorable. One said that their food critic also liked the place and the other said they had received letters from others who also praised the place. On top of that, it is only about three blocks from our place.

La Lorraine


La Lorraine only opened about four months ago and the last time I was here this was Wayne's, a kind of seedy late-night bar. Well, to be fair, I only went in there late at night so it might have been a perfectly respectable place during the light of day.

They did a nice job of remodeling and installed a fairly large kitchen that took up a lot of what was once the bar. I think they also put in new bathrooms, but maybe they just cleaned them. They definitely painted though, giving it a nice bright look.

Much Cheerier


To celebrate we ordered a bottle of bubbly. This was a nice dry Prosecco that went well both as an aperitif and with the meal.

A Bottle Of Bubbly


We were served a little appetizer, on the house, but I am not sure what it was. I thought it was a pate of some kind but the Mysterious Chinese Woman said it tasted like fish to her. Maybe a fish pate.

Mysterious Appetizer


Coincidentally, La Lorraine had two dishes that were very similar to the ones we had at Braeburn the other day, so we decided to order them and do a taste test.

The Mysterious Chinese Woman loves duck so she ordered the Margot de cannard et sa sauce gingembre et vodka au miel. The English translation of this was Roasted Duck with His Sauce. Go figure.

Roasted Duck With His Sauce


It wasn't bad, but considerably tougher that the duck at Braeburn. The sauce wasn't anything special either, kind of like a duck gravy. 1 - 0 Braeburn.

I ordered the La cuisse de canard et sa sauce au cassis which had a bit more descriptive English translation, Confitted duck leg and his black current licor sauce.

Confitted Duck Leg


Again, this wasn't nearly as good as what we had at Braeburn. It was considerably tougher and, because I have made this dish myself as an ingredient to my cassoulet, I knew why. It was cooked at too high a temperature and for a shorter time then is required. And, again, His Sauce, whatever it is, was more like a gravy. Way to heavy for a dish such as this,

Braeburn won the unanimous decision. Now, to be fair, I am sure they didn't have a chef of the caliber of Braeburn's working here and the prices were probably about a third of what they were at Braeburn. All and all it wasn't a bad attempt at a French restaurant here in Puerto Vallarta, but certainly didn't deserve rave reviews. I might go back to try something else, but I wouldn't rush back.

The service was very good and friendly. We ordered a second bottle of bubbly to share with a friendly couple we shared a table with, They were out of what we originally had, guess they only had one bottle, but they gave us a more expensive bottle at the same price. That was nice of them.

I would recommend La Lorraine if you are looking for an alternative to the usual fare and have a hankering for something French. Not bad, but not great. I think it suffered primarily because we were comparing it to a truly top-notch French restaurant. I suspect we would have rated it more highly if we hadn't ordered the same things that we had at Braeburn.